Along the centuries human societies have spread their beliefs, preserved, and transmitted from one generation to another. The constant repetition of this cultural information by a group of people creates confusion among them, who take it as the universal truth. Consequently, regardless of the place where someone is born, the common knowledge is full of misconceptions and wrong information. Not to mention, common knowledge creates ideals, values, and standards for each member of society. For this reason, most people believe in complete nonsense and proven false statements. For example, that unconditional love is the norm between lovers, husbands, and life companions. On the negative side, Humans expend their life searching for companions, who might provide a utopic unconditional relationship.
On the other hand, the common knowledge assigned the role each member of the society must represent. Such as, the janitor role is different from a New York escort role. Equally important People pay no attention to where those beliefs come from or the truth of any of them.
What is unconditional love?
The concept may experience some variations depending on the culture to which the responder belongs. However, for the majority of western society, it is an emotional state in which one partner loves the other one no matter what. Additionally, when someone offers unconditional love, he accepts any defect, poor judgment and bad behavior from the other companion. In like manner, if the other partner does not feel the same way, he is willing to carry on the relation forever. To emphasize, who loves unconditionally, will love forever and under no circumstances, he will change his feelings. The lack of any condition makes possible that the beloved can commit any kind of activity without any repercussion. In contrast, the lover does everything in his power to ensure the gratification, happiness, and fulfillment of the beloved. The lover neither expects any reciprocity nor any commitment from the beloved.
Why is unconditional love ideal so pervasive among men?
In the first place, society values are transmitted by women, they are in charge of culture preservation. Since childhood, every single individual of the western hemisphere receives an overload of information about romantic relationships. In fact, magazines, newspapers, televisions shows, and movies are picturing idealistic couples that portrait the unconditional love ideal every day. As a result of the permanent repetition of this utopic relationship, men accept the idea of unconditional love as scientific truth. In that case, men and women accept this proven wrong statement as their goal for romantic relations.
Romanticism and convenience could be the origin.
Must be remembered, marriage and monogamy are social constructions or social inventions created for controlling people and wealth. About two hundred years ago nobody got married or signed papers to become life companions. During that time, it was difficult for a woman to find a man who provided for her. In general, men avoided getting married; instead, they visited escort sites looking for women’s love and carnal pleasures. Thus, women created the unconditional love ideal as a protective mean to ensure a man would select any of them as a single partner and provide for her during his lifetime. Of course, the romantic ideal was propaganda against escort sites that were capturing men attention.
On the same token, the women who provided escort services needed to quit their job to be considered as an unconditional love source. Nobody could deny that competing against professional escort companion was a not fare for the common women in the countrysides. The old days challenging conditions prevented that several women left the brothels breaking the heart of their lovers, who started searching their utopic ideal on other partners in the community. As shown above, the utopic and unrealistic concept could be originated to equilibrate the competition for sexual partners and providers.
Can anybody expect to find it?
In reality, the concept of unconditional love makes itself impossible to attain after childhood. Grownups behave responding to personal motivations and social convenience. Unfortunately, personal gain and selfish desires are the major drivers and motivators for human behaviors. Equally important, the entire social interaction is regulated and governed by rules and it is conducted under pre-set conditions. Nowadays, everything is conditioned. A driver must obey the traffic laws to maintain his driving privileges; an unleashed dog cannot be in the park. On the same token, a husband must provide food, clothes, shelter, and entertainment for his wife or she will leave. With this in mind, any rational person understands that it is impossible to find unconditional love in a romantic relationship.
Romantic relationships in the western hemisphere are fully regulated by hundreds of laws.
- First, the person who enters into this kind of relation does so expecting to receive reciprocity. Truly, the lack of reciprocity decreases the love intensity and over time will prevent the formation of any strong bond.
- Second, it is inherent in the very concept of romantic love its reciprocal nature. Indeed, even in a philosophical or platonic level only the person who can offer this kind of commitment may expect to receive it. Under those circumstances, everybody must ask himself if he would accept the beloved unconditionally and imagine the worst possible scenario and evaluate if the answer might change or not.
- Third, engagement requires commitments and the partners accept some obligations and agree to respect the implicit laws. Engage people must enter into a monogamous relationship. Correspondingly, sexual and emotional fidelity is the core of the agreement. For this reason, any infidelity even just on the internet without physical intercourse can end the basic engagement agreement.
- Four, depending on the cultural and religious beliefs each partner must obey dozens of obligations to maintain the engagement. In other words, love is regulated and its expression and experience are conditioned to the abbey of its norms.
Can Love Be Unconditional?
From a philosophical perspective yes it can. However, the term unconditional only applies to some family relations and among children. Of course, some mothers love their offspring no matter what and they will maintain the same feeling over time even in the absence of reciprocity. In addition, children love their parents, caregivers, and companions even when they are abusive and horrible persons. To emphasize, the evidence has shown that only children offer unconditional love. Most likely, because they don’t know how parents and people must behave and treat them. The lack of a standard and the permanent bias allows forgiving any mistreatment, humiliation, and degradation. Equally important, children show a tremendous capacity to forgive and forget, this capacity is the requirement to express unconditional love. Likewise, children never compare or judge their beloved behaviors and deeds, which facilitate the development of unconditional relationships.
Are unconditional relationships possible?
In an open and free society it is impossible to encounter unconditional relationships. Nobody can imagine living with someone who is mistreating and humiliating his companion. In general, a healthy person with a sound mind will run away from any personal threat or dangerous situation. To clarify, even when a partner depends financially and emotionally from the other will leave the relation under certain circumstances. Human dignity, personal safety, and peace of mind are priceless; nobody should take part in an abusive relationship. To put it another way, only slaves and prisoners are forced to maintain unconditional relations with the bully in power.
People who are part of abusive relations suffer from severe traumas that affect their higher brain function. This affectation produces the inability to make adequate judgments and getting the correct situation assessment. In addition, the victim of the abusive relationship has extremely low self-esteem, which justifies the abuser. Thus, the words unconditional relations are present only in the mind of naïve, or mentally disturbed people.
Does true Love exist?
Yes, it does. However, love expression follows conditions and the lover will show his feelings only when the beloved meets those conditions. In general, people who start dating accept hundreds of stated and unspoken obligations. Above all conditions, the rule of law governs the entire interaction. Similarly, any romantic situation takes place under present conditions which the involved parts must respect. With this in mind, taking out conditions, rules, and obligation from love degenerates into a type of modern slavery.
Relations Anthropology and its Biological Origin
From the dawn of civilization, men have learned that living in groups increases their surviving odds. Inside any group of men, some differences will show in their abilities, physical appearance, and mental skills. During the evolution of the Homo Sapiens, the two genders were separated, women stayed in the home and produced offspring, while men protected the village and hunt for food. As a result, society accepted that men must provide for women. Thus, each woman used all her attributes to attract the best provider, who guaranteed her survival under the best circumstances. With this in mind, some women realized the enormous power they had over men and created the escort services, which provide them with a privileged position in the community.
In the same fashion, in the third-millennium women are still looking for the best provider. Neither the basic gender roles nor the selection criteria have changed a lot during human history. Inside every woman mind is present the desired for a healthy and successful provider, who will love and take care of her. Certainly, the hunter is no longer needed, but a powerful and successful man takes his place. For this reason, the man who earns more can choose the best woman, or the most appealing women are chosen by the most successful man. Quoting the French Revolution Philosophers “the difference between a New York escort and an NYC power broker wife is that the NYC escorts are a retailer while the wife is a wholesaler”
The present article is not against love or romanticism; it explores the evidence and reports the conclusions.
Why do American women are more likely to file a divorce than men?
The first thing to remember is that women are in charge of the family and offspring survival. Women are more goals’ oriented than men and they focus on fulfilling all their priorities first than falling in love. Not only each woman is evaluating every man, but also she is comparing her companion skills with the others. Surely, women fall in love, can get married, and delivering babies, but they will always look at their partners as upgradeable. Consequently, if the woman finds a better match for her desires or a better provider she will switch partners. She will leave the old companion and move on with her life.
The American society entitles gender equality making it easier for a woman to divorce and look for a better companion. To point out, as soon as the hard times and financial restrictions appear in life, wives leave. On the same token, if the husband is sick or unable to find a job and generate income, the chances for a divorce skyrocket. Point often overlooked, adult people, know that every aspect of daily life must abbey to social norms and legal laws. Developing any kind of human relations requires the implicit benefits for all parts involved. For instance, in a friendship, all the parts involved receive fellows to hang around, some type of personal support and brotherhood. In a business venture, the ventures receive a financial compensation according to their investment percentage.
The Escort Directory Is Created for the Men Who Are Looking For Unconditional Love.
Why successful men are always surrounded by beautiful young ladies. The escort directory is created for them because they are the best clientele for NY escort sites. Power broker hires New York escort to catch the attention of all the women in his surrounds. In addition, each NY escort client wants to send the message that he is a good provider, he is successful and powerful. In other words, he is making the bold statement that he is the best companion a woman could find.
Currently, men don’t need to fight for or going into dueling pistols to find a wife or a companion. The only thing that a man has to do is to show he is financially successful and let the natural act. For this reason when a successful man is seen by the side of a New York Escort a couple of time, his odds to find a romantic companion increase exponentially. This is the ugly truth about unconditional love.